DVA and Mainstream Media: What Lessons Can We Take From Love Island?

It’s the middle of summer and there is nothing quite as fabulously British as Love Island. Social media forms a common ground for all to meet at and rant about the latest twist in the villa at 9pm every day.

ITV’s reality romance opened to 3.3 million Brits this year, with Britain being even more interested in the reality romances than they were last year. But with millions of us watching growing relationships on TV every night, it’s hard to ignore some of the red flags present within the show. Working on placement at a domestic violence and abuse social enterprise (IRISi), I’ve read up on the escalation tactics of perpetrators in relationships, and whilst this isn’t attack on the men or women of Love Island, this blog post aims to help us look inwardly on how we behave with our partners, and what affect this can have on them.

Whilst most of the examples given in this may have men as the perpetrators (statistics show that in 4 out of 5 Domestic Violence and Abuse incidents the offender is male), it’s not an attack on anyone, but rather a chance for men, women and gender non-conforming people to take a closer look at some of the behaviours exhibited in their relationships.

Whilst it may just be a bit of a reality TV, the people are real and the conversations are (somewhat) real, and therefore the impact they have on those contestants is real. (A disclaimer: We don’t see 24 hours a day in the villa – what we know is based on what has been shown to the public).

Love Island’s Michael and Amber.

In all honesty I absolutely adored Micheal, the firefighter from Liverpool. A fave from the beginning, he had a cool and calm aura about him, and appeared to give the other lads a finger wagging when they needed it. But, in recent episodes, he has given us a textbook lesson in gaslighting. It’s not the first time Love Island contestants have come under fire for gaslighting, and some of the behaviors last year’s Adam Collard exhibited towards Rosie Williams were textbook signs of gaslighting and emotional abuse.

Gaslighting has become a word frequently used in recent times. Derived from the 1944 film (based on an earlier play) called Gaslight, Gaslighting occurs when the perpetrator employs a form of psychological abuse whereby the victim begins to doubt his or her sanity. The victim is told or convinced that they have said or done things that they have not.

Watching Love Island, it’s hard to ignore the clear manipulation tactics exhibited by some of the contestants: Michael deciding not to take responsibility for his actions as an adult and blaming someone else for his behaviour, having the victim think that they have done something to deserve this behaviour even when they haven’t. Instead of accepting responsibility and blame he proceeded to repeatedly call Amber ‘childish’ and ‘pathetic’, going as far as to tell her on national TV not to raise her voice at him when she hadn’t. This is clear gaslighting – trivialising the feelings of the victim and switching blame onto them.

Love Island’s Maura and Tommy

In recent years, a lot of effort has been made by broadcasting companies like the BBC to raise awareness of consent, what it means and what it doesn’t mean. One of the signs of an unhealthy relationship is forcing unwanted sexual advances on to your partner. This wasn’t quite exhibited on Love Island but the disregard for boundaries was apparent. This was highlighted by the 700 complaints made to Ofcom about Maura consistently trying to kiss Tommy after he had repeatedly made it clear that was not something he wanted to do. Whilst it may see like a bit dramatic, respecting our partner’s boundaries is the bare minimum. No means no, and incessant pursuits are not a sign of interest but actually an early warning sign of possible later abuse.

Early on in the season, the public rallied to complain about the controlling language and behavior of former contestant Joe Garratt. Joe, who had been coupled up with Lucie, made it clear that he found it ‘strange’ how much time Lucie spent with some of the other male contestants, though she insisted the friendships were purely platonic. His manner was picked up as possessive and controlling by 302 and members of the public who complained to Ofcom. Joe complained to Lucie that he would rather she ‘get close with the girls’, despite her stating that she just felt more comfortable around her male friends. Whilst it seems harmless enough, coercive control became a criminal offence in the UK in 2015. A red flag in relationships is when the perpetrator seeks to exert control over their victim in a range of ways including telling their partner who they can and cannot talk to. The behavior that Joe is displaying here is an example of coercive control, unintentional or not.

The show offers a learning opportunity for us as a public to analyze unhealthy behaviors and think about how we treat our partners in relationships. Love Island is a great and often humorous watch, but if you or anyone you know feels like you’ve been subjected to any of the warning signs of domestic abuse or violence, reach out; do not suffer in silence. A list of agencies is available below.

To find out more about what we do and how you might be able to get IRIS in your area, please visit our website www.irisi.org or email info@irisi.org.

24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Hotline
0808 2000 247
Womens Aid
0808 2000 247
Mens Advice Line
0808 8010 327
Respect
0808 8024 040

Domestic Abuse gaslighting Love Island realitytv

Partners

AVA

AVA is an expert, groundbreaking and independent charity working across the UK.

Their vision is a world without gender based violence and abuse. They aim to inspire innovation and collaboration and encourage and enable direct service providers to help end gender based violence and abuse particularly against women and girls.AVA’s work is focused around those areas where they can make the best contribution to ending violence and abuse. They do this by making sure that survivors get the help and support they need in the here and now, through providing innovative training that has a proven direct impact on the professional practice of people supporting survivors of violence and abuse

developing a range of toolkits, e-learning and other material that supports professionals to provide effective and appropriate support to survivors of violence and abuse

using our influence and networks to ensure survivors voices are heard. We work closely with AVA in many areas including the Pathfinder project

https://avaproject.org.uk

SafeLives

SafeLives are a national charity dedicated to ending domestic abuse, for good. We combine insight from services, survivors and statistics to support people to become safe, well and rebuild their lives. Since 2005, SafeLives has worked with organisations across the country to transform the response to domestic abuse, with over 60,000 victims at highest risk of murder or serious harm now receiving co-ordinated support annually. SafeLives are members of the Pathfinder consortium.

http://www.safelives.org.uk/about-us

IMKAAN

Imkaan is a UK-based, Black feminist organisation. We are the only national second-tier women’s organisation dedicated to addressing violence against Black and minoritised women and girls i.e. women and girls which are defined in policy terms as Black and ‘Minority Ethnic’ (BME). The organisation holds nearly two decades of experience of working around issues such as domestic violence, forced marriage and ‘honour-based’ violence.

They work at local, national and international level, and in partnership with a range of organisations, to improve policy and practice responses to Black and minoritised women and girls. Imkaan works with it’s members to represent the expertise and perspectives of frontline, specialist and dedicated Black and minoritised women’s organisations that work to prevent and respond to violence against women and girls. Imkaan delivers a unique package of support which includes: quality assurance; accredited training and peer education; sustainability support to frontline Black and minoritised organisations; and facilitation of space for community engagement and development. They are a part of the Pathfinder Consortium.

https://www.imkaan.org.uk

The University of Bristol CAPC

The Centre for Academic Primary Care (CAPC) is a leading centre for primary care research in the UK, one of nine forming the NIHR School for Primary Care Research. It is part of Bristol Medical School, an internationally recognised centre of excellence for population health research and teaching.

A dedicated team of researchers at the Centre work on domestic abuse projects and IRISi is a co-collaborator and partner on some of these projects including ReProvide, HERA and DRiDVA.

The Health Foundation

The Health Foundation is an independent charity committed to bringing about better health and health care for people in the UK. The Health Foundation’s Exploring Social Franchising programme aims to generate a deeper understanding of the potential of social franchising models for scaling effective health and social care interventions within the NHS.

We are one of four project teams participating in the programme to develop a social franchise to enable the sustainable spread of our intervention, the IRIS Programme. We receive funding and support from the Health Foundation, including technical expertise on social franchising, and attend programme learning events. The Health Foundation has also commissioned a programme-wide evaluation to support understanding of the use of social franchising in the UK health and care system. We and our franchisees will support the evaluation through co-designing data collection requirements, providing access to data as requested, hosting site visits and attending learning events.

https://www.health.org.uk

STADV

Standing Together Against Domestic Violence is a UK charity bringing communities together to end domestic abuse. They bring local services together to keep people safe

Most public services weren’t designed with domestic abuse in mind, and they often struggle to keep people safe. Poor communication and gaps between services put survivors at risk.

STADV aim to end domestic abuse by changing the way that local services respond to it. They do this through an approach that they pioneered, called the Coordinated Community Response. The Coordinated Community Response brings services together to ensure local systems truly keep survivors safe, hold abusers to account, and prevent domestic abuse.

Their model of a coordinated local partnership to tackle and ultimately prevent domestic violence is now widely accepted as best practice. They are also a part of the Pathfinder consortium.

http://www.standingtogether.org.uk

Spring Impact

Spring Impact is a not-for-profit social enterprise born out of the frustration of seeing social organisations constantly reinventing the wheel and wasting scarce resources. Spring Impact uses a combination of tested commercial and social principles and extensive practical expertise to support organisations to identify, design and implement the right social replication model to scale their social impact.